Nicola Walker Coaching

Mindset Coach, intuitive clarity, purpose, joy

fears

How to Shift from Fear to Love

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Pink HeartDo you have days when you wake up in the morning with all your fears hammering around in your head? You feel a sense of dread. How are you going to get rid of the fear? You so want to have a great day. You so want to feel confident, energized, motivated and full of love.

All the emotions we can ever feel boil down to two very opposite states of being: we can either be in fear or love. When your fears take over, you feel heavy, small, everything is an effort. Your mind keeps reverting to the worst scenario as your most likely outcome. You know if you have any hope of success, you have to think positive, but trying to do so is like lugging a sack of stones up a slippery hill. Love seems to be as distant a destination as a glimmering star in the night sky.

So how do you shift from fear to love?

Here are two ways: [Read more…] about How to Shift from Fear to Love

Say Goodbye to Self Doubt and Trust Yourself

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Orange poppy in full bloomHappy New Year!!! May this be your best year ever! We all have the potential to experience our best year ever. The beginning of each new year offers us a tiny window of opportunity to believe this time it could be different – before the doubts set in.

Self doubt is a big reason why some of us don’t make the changes that we really want to make, or get disappointed because our dreams don’t come true – yet again. It’s especially easy to waver on your commitment when there is a big contrast between what you really want and the way your life is now. You start to question your abilities, or even question what you really want and the direction you need to take.

A flood of reasons why having what you really want would be hard, or even impossible fills your mind, conveniently keeping you safe in your not so comfortable comfort zone.

What if you did really trust yourself? What would trusting yourself look or feel like? When you trust yourself, you are able to make decisions, trust your decisions and choices, then act on them.

The habit of self doubt can make it hard to really value, or even know your gifts. You feel like “something” is blocking you from really putting yourself out there and making a successful career with your innate gifts, passions and talents. [Read more…] about Say Goodbye to Self Doubt and Trust Yourself

Where Does Fear Hold You Back?

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cobwebDo you have days when your mind becomes dull with brain fog and a mysterious paralysis strangles your ability to take action? Fear has crept up, weaving its insidious tentacles around you like sticky cobwebs. Once you become fear’s prisoner, then fear will feed you stories, none of them true, about why you can’t have what you want.

How do I know this? Because I’ve been there. Fear can still lie in wait for me when I get out of bed in the morning. I have to be alert so it doesn’t trip me up and make me captive. Even when I’m really on a roll, in the flow, without a care in the world, I can still, all of a sudden, without any warning, get caught in fear’s trap.

It’s interesting to note that the more I devote time to doing what I love, the more prone I am to fear because I am taking risks, putting myself out there, unsure of how people will respond to me, facing the unknown financially. Yet, I am also feeling strong and vibrant because I love what I do, which helps to keep fear at bay. The worst kind of fear is the paralyzing kind, that makes you avoid doing what you long to do. The kind of fear that makes you see closed doors, no options, vicious circles and danger signs everywhere you look.

There are a couple of situations that I have known intimately, that force you to face your fears. Going through life transitions is one of them. Going through divorce, death of a loved one, leaving a job, starting a business or new job, beginning a new relationship, ending a relationship, children leaving home, health issues or moving. Suddenly, you are not floating along or treading water. You are facing a brand new situation. Change is always an opportunity for growth. You either feel energized and creative. Or, you feel flattened with fear, prone to self doubt. Or maybe you flit between the two.

The other situation is finding your unique self expression. You know when you have a vocation or a form of creative expression inside you that you are trying to ignore or suppress. Again, the risks are great. What if you mess it up, make mistakes? How will people respond to you? Will you make money, lose money or forget about the money? Is it easier to just forget about it? The answer is always no. You’ll never be able to effectively forget about it anyway. Also, a part of you starts to wither and die, just like a plant that has been placed too much in the shade.

The longer you ignore any situation that makes you uncomfortable, the worse it gets. This goes for a business that is stagnating from a lack of unique self expression, or a relationship that’s undernourished, deprived of love, passion and creativity. Fear acts like a snowstorm falling on a rose. It freezes beauty, inspiration and growth.

So you have to face the fears that hold you back, shine a light on them, expose them for what they are. Fear doesn’t like the light. It thrives in the dark. So find the light of truth inside you. Your inner wisdom is stronger than your fear, and will lead you where you need to go for your greatest happiness and fulfillment.

 

Nicola Walker, apricot top, head and shoulders

Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.

Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Subscribe to Mindset & Miracles bi-monthly musings & blog nuggets via email

What Happens When You Block Your Feelings

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Sometimes people have told me that they block their feelings and emotions. I can understand the temptation at times, when you don’t want to rock the boat. Emotions can be messy, with no respect for perfect timing. You don’t want to blubber during a meeting with a prospective client who says, “No,” and your mortgage is due. Or, shout at your boss when you need your job. Or even listen to those feelings that something doesn’t feel right about your relationship when you’re just about to fly off on vacation.

So it’s natural to want to push down inconvenient feelings and emotions back where they came from. At least you can control pretending things are fine.

This might work for a while. But it’s a little like pushing down a ball in water. The greater the force you use to push it down, the greater the splash when it finally surfaces. And if the ball is there, it will emerge at some point.

Have you ever had a bunch of roses that didn’t all bloom? Sometimes you get one bud that just holds its petals tight, hiding its beauty from your eyes.

Feelings and emotions make you bloom and grow. They lead you into a vulnerable place where the light can shine through. You face the unknown, but it’s real. It’s exciting actually. If you like watching adventures on TV or the movies, you might enjoy your own. “Oh my God, what’s going to happen next?!”

I do believe that living your full bloom takes a lot of courage, but that’s what life is about. I’ve been totally committed to mine, even though this has meant facing fears on a more regular basis than some people might. Courage is a muscle you develop, just like learning to listen, trust and follow your inner guidance is a muscle. Discipline, persistence and choosing to find your way back to inner happiness are all muscles too.

One of the ways your inner wisdom speaks to you is through your feelings and sensations. If you block your feelings then you block your inner wisdom, which is like your life force. Your inner wisdom helps you to elevate your life beyond the mundane. It leads you to discover more about yourself, your heart and life itself by stepping through pain, facing the unknown and discovering the light.

 

Nicola Walker, apricot top, head and shoulders

Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.

Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Subscribe to Mindset & Miracles bi-monthly musings & blog nuggets via email

Can You Want Something Too Much?

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Have you ever found yourself wanting something so much that you lose your center? If you’ve waited a long while for something you really want, you may have a lot of emotional charge around the thing you most desire, whether it’s money, love, a particular job, a career break, the opportunity to travel. As soon as you catch yourself caught in some in between world that is not the present or the future, it’s time to loosen your grip.

Why? Because when you want something so much that it becomes agonizing or upsetting, you could be pushing what you most want away from you. This is what is meant by needing to let go of attachment. Also, if you’re not fully present, lost in your thoughts of what may or may not happen, then you’re not fully present to your inner wisdom that can effectively guide you to fulfillment.

You’ll know when you want your desired outcome too much, if you notice that your body is tense, that your mind is racing through all the years that what you want has eluded you, how difficult it’s been, maybe fears about what if it never happens? Your attention is more on how your desire has not happened or may not happen, than how it is going to happen. So how can your desires happen through so much tension, fear, mental stories and projections? I know for myself that all the best things have happened when I’ve been relaxed, not even thinking about how much I want something.

This is the ideal way to hold what you most desire. Check to see if this is true for you:

The desire is in your heart. It feels good. You believe it can be yours.
Then you let go, knowing it will show up in good time.

If you find that you still feel very attached to what you want showing up, so that it’s hard to just let go and trust that your desire is on its way, then examine your fears more closely. Your fears are like a wall between where you are now, and having what you want. Fears are illusions, but they seem real when you are emotionally invested in them, when they have carved well-worn pathways in your brain.

Write down each fear so you look it fully in the face. Then see which fears you can fully get rid of.

A lot of fears do dissolve when you shine a light on them — the light of wisdom and awareness.

 

Nicola Walker, apricot top, head and shoulders

Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.

Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Subscribe to Mindset & Miracles bi-monthly musings & blog nuggets via email