“I’ve always dreamed of having an exciting life,” a woman in her mid-thirties told me. Now she was concerned because she had given up on her dreams in order to play safe, while at the same time fearing that her life was running away from her. Are your fears making you give up on your dreams? I often come across people who feel like they have compromised on their dreams. Dreams change. The dreams you have in your early years can be transplanted by new dreams as you grow and evolve. Yet, the more you’ve been knocked around by life, struggled and tasted failure, the harder it can be to rise up and experience the fruits of your yearnings.
self-expression
Are You Falling into the Comparing Yourself to Others Trap?
Sometimes I don’t even know I’m doing it. I think I’m just exhibiting a healthy curiosity. Yet, there’s a fine line between being aware of and learning from what others are doing professionally, and falling into the trap of comparing yourself to them.
When you compare yourself to others, wishing you had what they have, then you find yourself hurtling into a downward spiral of false and inaccurate thinking. You fall into the trap of belittling what you’re all about and what makes you unique.
Recognizing and embracing what’s unique about you requires quality time and attention! It took me a long while, and I’m still learning. But I experienced a huge shift when I started spending as much time being fascinated in experiencing what I was all about deep down, as being fascinated by others.
Do you want to live your passion and find your unique self expression? It takes the patience to listen deeply to what you’re all about. Comparing yourself to others, or feeling inadequate is actually a habitual thinking pattern, caused by low self worth.
A key requirement for finding and living your passion is to be vigilant about where your mind is wandering, so you can find your truth, rather than respond to life from limited thinking. You can recognize your truth, because it feels good, whereas inaccurate thinking pulls you down and makes you feel small. You want to feel as strong and vibrant as possible, so you have more access to your inner guidance.
Catch yourself each time you say, I’m not….. The next time you say, “I’m not……………………(like xxx)”, move on to say next, “I am…………….(whatever you are).” And take a few moments to let what you are sink in and feel grateful for the way you are.
Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.
Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Subscribe to Mindset & Miracles bi-monthly musings & blog nuggets via email
Where Does Fear Hold You Back?
Do you have days when your mind becomes dull with brain fog and a mysterious paralysis strangles your ability to take action? Fear has crept up, weaving its insidious tentacles around you like sticky cobwebs. Once you become fear’s prisoner, then fear will feed you stories, none of them true, about why you can’t have what you want.
How do I know this? Because I’ve been there. Fear can still lie in wait for me when I get out of bed in the morning. I have to be alert so it doesn’t trip me up and make me captive. Even when I’m really on a roll, in the flow, without a care in the world, I can still, all of a sudden, without any warning, get caught in fear’s trap.
It’s interesting to note that the more I devote time to doing what I love, the more prone I am to fear because I am taking risks, putting myself out there, unsure of how people will respond to me, facing the unknown financially. Yet, I am also feeling strong and vibrant because I love what I do, which helps to keep fear at bay. The worst kind of fear is the paralyzing kind, that makes you avoid doing what you long to do. The kind of fear that makes you see closed doors, no options, vicious circles and danger signs everywhere you look.
There are a couple of situations that I have known intimately, that force you to face your fears. Going through life transitions is one of them. Going through divorce, death of a loved one, leaving a job, starting a business or new job, beginning a new relationship, ending a relationship, children leaving home, health issues or moving. Suddenly, you are not floating along or treading water. You are facing a brand new situation. Change is always an opportunity for growth. You either feel energized and creative. Or, you feel flattened with fear, prone to self doubt. Or maybe you flit between the two.
The other situation is finding your unique self expression. You know when you have a vocation or a form of creative expression inside you that you are trying to ignore or suppress. Again, the risks are great. What if you mess it up, make mistakes? How will people respond to you? Will you make money, lose money or forget about the money? Is it easier to just forget about it? The answer is always no. You’ll never be able to effectively forget about it anyway. Also, a part of you starts to wither and die, just like a plant that has been placed too much in the shade.
The longer you ignore any situation that makes you uncomfortable, the worse it gets. This goes for a business that is stagnating from a lack of unique self expression, or a relationship that’s undernourished, deprived of love, passion and creativity. Fear acts like a snowstorm falling on a rose. It freezes beauty, inspiration and growth.
So you have to face the fears that hold you back, shine a light on them, expose them for what they are. Fear doesn’t like the light. It thrives in the dark. So find the light of truth inside you. Your inner wisdom is stronger than your fear, and will lead you where you need to go for your greatest happiness and fulfillment.
Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.
Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Subscribe to Mindset & Miracles bi-monthly musings & blog nuggets via email