Nicola Walker Coaching

Mindset Coach, intuitive clarity, purpose, joy

Nicola Walker

How to Unwind When the Stress Gets Too Much

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Still lake image for self care at work“Give yourself the time to move through the initial awkwardness, even a sense of fear or guilt about unwinding when you feel way too stressed.”

It has been a hectic week. Lots of driving, meetings, rushing out the door feeling so pressed for time that my jacket falls from my full arms into the flower bed. I run towards my car, keys clanging as I throw bags in the trunk, slam doors shut, roar out of the driveway; an oddity on what is really just another peaceful blue sky day in the Santa Cruz mountains with birds chirping from the branches of tall, bright green needled pine trees.

Today is Saturday. Time to slow down. I planned the day to be blank, to unwind.  “What do I want to do?” my mind wonders, almost slightly anxious about making the right decision. “Walk on the beach? Go to a café?” It seems like I feel the need to do something to make the day special in order to unwind, yet my body is fatigued. I’m processing from all the events of the week. I don’t actually really know what I want to do.

Keep it simple and don’t let trying to unwind actually make you busy.

I remember how much nicer it is to let the way I spend my day happen naturally and spontaneously, without making a conscious choice. At first I feel the awkwardness of letting myself not “do anything of consequence”. I look out at the sunny tree tops feeling a little lost because I don’t have plans or anyone to share at least part of my day with. Yet I know I’m doing the right thing. [Read more…] about How to Unwind When the Stress Gets Too Much

Try A Little Tenderness – Loss, Love and the Holidays

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Angel in Red Poinsettia“The Holidays greet you where you are. No matter what is happening in your life, suddenly the familiar wave of frenetic activity descends upon you, whether you feel ready for it or not. Some people love this time of the year. Yet if you have gone through a big loss in your life, loss of a loved one, recent loss of a job or a dream, you can feel extremely vulnerable and emotional.”

Honor what you need as the year draws to a close. Greet yourself with tenderness. Take it slowly and listen to your heart. The love that you are never truly loses love for you are the cup that runneth over, even when you feel dried up like an old piece of discarded fruit. You can only see what you perceive, such as when life seems like one grey low-lying cloud in a vast, endless sky. The sun is always present, even when it is unseen.

Tenderness is a beautiful habit to cultivate. Treating yourself tenderly soothes raw nerves, replenishes and brings out the best in you. Answers, wisdom and love arrive naturally the deeper you delve into relaxed acceptance, appreciation and simply being. There is a beauty to this season of the light, whatever tradition you celebrate. When you turn your attention to love, the warmth of love flows out to greet you.

Here are three tender steps to take whenever you feel overwhelmed, sad, angry or even hopeless: [Read more…] about Try A Little Tenderness – Loss, Love and the Holidays

Your Joy is Your Support System for Your Soul-Inspired Dream Career

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Distant sunset over hills and ocean“Creating your soul-inspired dream career while doing a day job? – Even your highest destiny can’t land in your hands when you’re drained, disconnected and frustrated. Burnout looms closer than dreams come true.”

OK. You’re all juiced up with the vision that is forming inside of you, your inner calling, the life that is a perfect match for your soul and so much more exciting and more meaningful than your current life. Like a distant beacon of light on a far-off hilltop, your dream life pulsates, beckoning you to clamber over the rocks and brambles to claim your deepest truth and highest destiny.

Then, as desire and ambition flood your being, your mind feverishly trying to work out how and when, you suddenly find yourself feeling drained and hopelessly human. The beacon of light remains just as distant as before, even when you start to move stealthily towards it. Is it a golden carrot that beams before you like a cosmic tease, so beyond the confines of reality that it belongs to the world of unicorns, life on stars and big ideas that go pop in the night?

When the delicate balance between moving towards your dream life, your soul-inspired dream career, the deepest truth in your heart and doing your day job or whatever practical considerations you have right now becomes out of whack, you have to look at the warning lights instead. Even your highest destiny can’t land in your hands when you’re drained, disconnected and frustrated. Burn-out is not an option.

The key to sanity and success in following your new soul-inspired direction in life is to weave in your joy, to let joy be your balm, your freedom and your best friend. Many people ignore their joy just to get everything done, do the right thing, be responsible, feel safe and to cling to their fears. They mistakenly think that their to-do list or financial security come first. Yet, part of them is dying of thirst, starved of nectar, even on the path to golden lands.

Here are three simple ways to keep your joy alive and be enlivened by your joy: [Read more…] about Your Joy is Your Support System for Your Soul-Inspired Dream Career

How to Stop Beating Yourself Up for Taking So Long

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Sitting on the Fence“Finding and following your inner calling is different for everyone, so that’s why comparing yourself to others is just being cruel to yourself and so not the point.”

“I actually felt shame about having taken so long,” a client admitted the other day. “I’ve been sitting on the fence, but I couldn’t get clear enough to move forward with what’s been calling me.”

My heart was wide open feeling the pain of her shame. I immediately guided her to be gentle with herself, to help her see that the unfolding of her passionate purpose has been perfect, that there is always a larger picture where so many things you wouldn’t even think of need to happen before you can be ready to take those first steps.

“It’s different for everyone,” I said, “so that’s why comparing yourself to others is just being cruel to yourself and so not the point.”

The call of your heart speaks in whispers, nudges and yearnings. It evolves and takes shape with its own timing as you take the steps to meet it. Listen to your heart – it is showing you the way to live your purpose. You could feel drawn to write, to paint, to speak in front of groups, to travel, to interview people, to be part of the solution to a social or environmental issue, to invent something that you keep imagining and long to make real.

Whatever pulls you and speaks to you is an ingredient of your vision. It will either be part of the life that is perfect for your soul or will help you to get closer to following your inner calling.

The greatest advance you can make is to love yourself for being exactly where you are. [Read more…] about How to Stop Beating Yourself Up for Taking So Long

Losing Heart? Five Ways to Find Your Heart Again

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Feeling sad, overwhelmed or discouraged? Or, maybe just not as bright as you know you could be? Sometimes we can feel worn down by a situation and lose all sense of perspective.

Here are five simple ways to start opening up your heart again so you can benefit from its wisdom and love. The wisdom of the heart is always available to you, though hard to hear when your heart feels closed. Spending time with someone you love and can communicate deeply with is also wonderful, but there are times when this may not be an option.

  1. Take some time out – go for a walk, look for beauty, things to appreciate, breathe, enjoy exerting your body and notice the difference between before your walk and after. If you prefer to run, make sure you observe and appreciate your surroundings so your attention is outside of yourself and your preoccupations.
  2. Lie down and have a rest. Your breath will find its own rhythms again and you’ll find your mind will let go of cycling around the same themes and leave space for a more balanced state of being. [Read more…] about Losing Heart? Five Ways to Find Your Heart Again