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Try A Little Tenderness – Loss, Love and the Holidays

December 23, 2013 by Nicola Walker

Angel in Red Poinsettia“The Holidays greet you where you are. No matter what is happening in your life, suddenly the familiar wave of frenetic activity descends upon you, whether you feel ready for it or not. Some people love this time of the year. Yet if you have gone through a big loss in your life, loss of a loved one, recent loss of a job or a dream, you can feel extremely vulnerable and emotional.”

Honor what you need as the year draws to a close. Greet yourself with tenderness. Take it slowly and listen to your heart. The love that you are never truly loses love for you are the cup that runneth over, even when you feel dried up like an old piece of discarded fruit. You can only see what you perceive, such as when life seems like one grey low-lying cloud in a vast, endless sky. The sun is always present, even when it is unseen.

Tenderness is a beautiful habit to cultivate. Treating yourself tenderly soothes raw nerves, replenishes and brings out the best in you. Answers, wisdom and love arrive naturally the deeper you delve into relaxed acceptance, appreciation and simply being. There is a beauty to this season of the light, whatever tradition you celebrate. When you turn your attention to love, the warmth of love flows out to greet you.

Here are three tender steps to take whenever you feel overwhelmed, sad, angry or even hopeless:

  1. Choose to take a tender break. Find somewhere to be alone where you can sit comfortably, go out for a walk or if there are fewer options and a lot of people around, lock yourself in the bathroom.
  2. Take some deep breaths. Imagine the presence of love all around you. Imagine angels wrapping their wings around you or whatever symbolizes love and wisdom for you. Put your arms round yourself and give yourself a hug and breathe deeply as you relax into the love knowing there’s nothing for you to do except rest in the love.
  3. Tell yourself that you love yourself (whether this feels true or not). Whisper the words, “I love you.” Notice how your body responds. You may start breathing more deeply or sigh with some relief. Stay in this place of presence with yourself and your heart for as long as you feel like it. You’ll find there is a point when you’ll naturally feel stronger and more able to face the world again.

New birth grows unseen and ceaselessly. Even when you stop believing or feel like you don’t have the energy or impetus, new birth is growing waiting for the day when you can see it and seize its promise. Like new green grass, it grows closer to the surface with each downpour of rain. The New Year is like an open door into fresh pastures glistening in the morning dew, welcoming you with hope, exciting opportunities and the chance for at least some cherished dreams to unfold.

Nicola Walker, Anything is Possible Mindset Coach, wearing apricot top, head and shoulder photo

Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.

Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.

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Filed Under: Emotions Tagged With: heart wisdom, loss, love

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