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Mindset Coach, intuitive clarity, purpose, joy

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Mindset

Are You Falling into the Comparing Yourself to Others Trap?

January 13, 2012 by Nicola Walker

SpiralSometimes I don’t even know I’m doing it. I think I’m just exhibiting a healthy curiosity. Yet, there’s a fine line between being aware of and learning from what others are doing professionally, and falling into the trap of comparing yourself to them.

When you compare yourself to others, wishing you had what they have, then you find yourself hurtling into a downward spiral of false and inaccurate thinking. You fall into the trap of belittling what you’re all about and what makes you unique.

Recognizing and embracing what’s unique about you requires quality time and attention! It took me a long while, and I’m still learning. But I experienced a huge shift when I started spending as much time being fascinated in experiencing what I was all about deep down, as being fascinated by others.

Do you want to live your passion and find your unique self expression? It takes the patience to listen deeply to what you’re all about. Comparing yourself to others, or feeling inadequate is actually a habitual thinking pattern, caused by low self worth.

A key requirement for finding and living your passion is to be vigilant about where your mind is wandering, so you can find your truth, rather than respond to life from limited thinking. You can recognize your truth, because it feels good, whereas inaccurate thinking pulls you down and makes you feel small. You want to feel as strong and vibrant as possible, so you have more access to your inner guidance.

Catch yourself each time you say, I’m not….. The next time you say, “I’m not……………………(like xxx)”, move on to say next, “I am…………….(whatever you are).” And take a few moments to let what you are sink in and feel grateful for the way you are.

 
 

Nicola Walker, apricot top, head and shoulders

Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.

Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Subscribe to Mindset & Miracles bi-monthly musings & blog nuggets via email

Filed Under: Mindset Tagged With: passion, self-expression, self-worth, truth

Where Does Fear Hold You Back?

November 3, 2011 by Nicola Walker

cobwebDo you have days when your mind becomes dull with brain fog and a mysterious paralysis strangles your ability to take action? Fear has crept up, weaving its insidious tentacles around you like sticky cobwebs. Once you become fear’s prisoner, then fear will feed you stories, none of them true, about why you can’t have what you want.

How do I know this? Because I’ve been there. Fear can still lie in wait for me when I get out of bed in the morning. I have to be alert so it doesn’t trip me up and make me captive. Even when I’m really on a roll, in the flow, without a care in the world, I can still, all of a sudden, without any warning, get caught in fear’s trap.

It’s interesting to note that the more I devote time to doing what I love, the more prone I am to fear because I am taking risks, putting myself out there, unsure of how people will respond to me, facing the unknown financially. Yet, I am also feeling strong and vibrant because I love what I do, which helps to keep fear at bay. The worst kind of fear is the paralyzing kind, that makes you avoid doing what you long to do. The kind of fear that makes you see closed doors, no options, vicious circles and danger signs everywhere you look.

There are a couple of situations that I have known intimately, that force you to face your fears. Going through life transitions is one of them. Going through divorce, death of a loved one, leaving a job, starting a business or new job, beginning a new relationship, ending a relationship, children leaving home, health issues or moving. Suddenly, you are not floating along or treading water. You are facing a brand new situation. Change is always an opportunity for growth. You either feel energized and creative. Or, you feel flattened with fear, prone to self doubt. Or maybe you flit between the two.

The other situation is finding your unique self expression. You know when you have a vocation or a form of creative expression inside you that you are trying to ignore or suppress. Again, the risks are great. What if you mess it up, make mistakes? How will people respond to you? Will you make money, lose money or forget about the money? Is it easier to just forget about it? The answer is always no. You’ll never be able to effectively forget about it anyway. Also, a part of you starts to wither and die, just like a plant that has been placed too much in the shade.

The longer you ignore any situation that makes you uncomfortable, the worse it gets. This goes for a business that is stagnating from a lack of unique self expression, or a relationship that’s undernourished, deprived of love, passion and creativity. Fear acts like a snowstorm falling on a rose. It freezes beauty, inspiration and growth.

So you have to face the fears that hold you back, shine a light on them, expose them for what they are. Fear doesn’t like the light. It thrives in the dark. So find the light of truth inside you. Your inner wisdom is stronger than your fear, and will lead you where you need to go for your greatest happiness and fulfillment.

 

Nicola Walker, apricot top, head and shoulders

Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.

Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Subscribe to Mindset & Miracles bi-monthly musings & blog nuggets via email

Filed Under: Mindset Tagged With: fears, self-doubt, self-expression, transitions

Can You Want Something Too Much?

January 13, 2011 by Nicola Walker

Have you ever found yourself wanting something so much that you lose your center? If you’ve waited a long while for something you really want, you may have a lot of emotional charge around the thing you most desire, whether it’s money, love, a particular job, a career break, the opportunity to travel. As soon as you catch yourself caught in some in between world that is not the present or the future, it’s time to loosen your grip.

Why? Because when you want something so much that it becomes agonizing or upsetting, you could be pushing what you most want away from you. This is what is meant by needing to let go of attachment. Also, if you’re not fully present, lost in your thoughts of what may or may not happen, then you’re not fully present to your inner wisdom that can effectively guide you to fulfillment.

You’ll know when you want your desired outcome too much, if you notice that your body is tense, that your mind is racing through all the years that what you want has eluded you, how difficult it’s been, maybe fears about what if it never happens? Your attention is more on how your desire has not happened or may not happen, than how it is going to happen. So how can your desires happen through so much tension, fear, mental stories and projections? I know for myself that all the best things have happened when I’ve been relaxed, not even thinking about how much I want something.

This is the ideal way to hold what you most desire. Check to see if this is true for you:

The desire is in your heart. It feels good. You believe it can be yours.
Then you let go, knowing it will show up in good time.

If you find that you still feel very attached to what you want showing up, so that it’s hard to just let go and trust that your desire is on its way, then examine your fears more closely. Your fears are like a wall between where you are now, and having what you want. Fears are illusions, but they seem real when you are emotionally invested in them, when they have carved well-worn pathways in your brain.

Write down each fear so you look it fully in the face. Then see which fears you can fully get rid of.

A lot of fears do dissolve when you shine a light on them — the light of wisdom and awareness.

 

Nicola Walker, apricot top, head and shoulders

Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.

Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Subscribe to Mindset & Miracles bi-monthly musings & blog nuggets via email

Filed Under: Mindset Tagged With: create your reality, desires, fears, letting go of attachment

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