Nicola Walker Coaching

Reignite Your Joy, Align with Your Deepest Desires

Emotions

Why self compassion helps us to live our dream life

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Bench overlooking blue ocean with bright pink flowers

Recently, I had an interaction with another person that rattled me and left my nervous system feeling shaken. I calmed and centered myself afterwards but a shakiness and depressive feelings kept returning. I noticed that I had added another piece – feeling disappointed in myself for not recovering quicker. It seemed that my mind was gathering more reasons to feel sad. It was time for some self compassion.

There are parts of ourselves that don’t care so much about being powerful and managing our energy to achieve great things in the world.

These parts of us just want to feel safe and loved. Especially when our nervous system is jangled.

[Read more…] about Why self compassion helps us to live our dream life

Say Goodbye to Self Doubt and Trust Yourself

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Orange poppy in full bloomHappy New Year!!! May this be your best year ever! We all have the potential to experience our best year ever. The beginning of each new year offers us a tiny window of opportunity to believe this time it could be different – before the doubts set in.

Self doubt is a big reason why some of us don’t make the changes that we really want to make, or get disappointed because our dreams don’t come true – yet again. It’s especially easy to waver on your commitment when there is a big contrast between what you really want and the way your life is now. You start to question your abilities, or even question what you really want and the direction you need to take.

A flood of reasons why having what you really want would be hard, or even impossible fills your mind, conveniently keeping you safe in your not so comfortable comfort zone.

What if you did really trust yourself? What would trusting yourself look or feel like? When you trust yourself, you are able to make decisions, trust your decisions and choices, then act on them.

The habit of self doubt can make it hard to really value, or even know your gifts. You feel like “something” is blocking you from really putting yourself out there and making a successful career with your innate gifts, passions and talents. [Read more…] about Say Goodbye to Self Doubt and Trust Yourself

Try A Little Tenderness – Loss, Love and the Holidays

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Angel in Red Poinsettia“The Holidays greet you where you are. No matter what is happening in your life, suddenly the familiar wave of frenetic activity descends upon you, whether you feel ready for it or not. Some people love this time of the year. Yet if you have gone through a big loss in your life, loss of a loved one, recent loss of a job or a dream, you can feel extremely vulnerable and emotional.”

Honor what you need as the year draws to a close. Greet yourself with tenderness. Take it slowly and listen to your heart. The love that you are never truly loses love for you are the cup that runneth over, even when you feel dried up like an old piece of discarded fruit. You can only see what you perceive, such as when life seems like one grey low-lying cloud in a vast, endless sky. The sun is always present, even when it is unseen.

Tenderness is a beautiful habit to cultivate. Treating yourself tenderly soothes raw nerves, replenishes and brings out the best in you. Answers, wisdom and love arrive naturally the deeper you delve into relaxed acceptance, appreciation and simply being. There is a beauty to this season of the light, whatever tradition you celebrate. When you turn your attention to love, the warmth of love flows out to greet you.

Here are three tender steps to take whenever you feel overwhelmed, sad, angry or even hopeless: [Read more…] about Try A Little Tenderness – Loss, Love and the Holidays

Losing Heart? Five Ways to Find Your Heart Again

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Feeling sad, overwhelmed or discouraged? Or, maybe just not as bright as you know you could be? Sometimes we can feel worn down by a situation and lose all sense of perspective.

Here are five simple ways to start opening up your heart again so you can benefit from its wisdom and love. The wisdom of the heart is always available to you, though hard to hear when your heart feels closed. Spending time with someone you love and can communicate deeply with is also wonderful, but there are times when this may not be an option.

  1. Take some time out – go for a walk, look for beauty, things to appreciate, breathe, enjoy exerting your body and notice the difference between before your walk and after. If you prefer to run, make sure you observe and appreciate your surroundings so your attention is outside of yourself and your preoccupations.
  2. Lie down and have a rest. Your breath will find its own rhythms again and you’ll find your mind will let go of cycling around the same themes and leave space for a more balanced state of being. [Read more…] about Losing Heart? Five Ways to Find Your Heart Again

Where Does Fear Hold You Back?

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cobwebDo you have days when your mind becomes dull with brain fog and a mysterious paralysis strangles your ability to take action? Fear has crept up, weaving its insidious tentacles around you like sticky cobwebs. Once you become fear’s prisoner, then fear will feed you stories, none of them true, about why you can’t have what you want.

How do I know this? Because I’ve been there. Fear can still lie in wait for me when I get out of bed in the morning. I have to be alert so it doesn’t trip me up and make me captive. Even when I’m really on a roll, in the flow, without a care in the world, I can still, all of a sudden, without any warning, get caught in fear’s trap.

It’s interesting to note that the more I devote time to doing what I love, the more prone I am to fear because I am taking risks, putting myself out there, unsure of how people will respond to me, facing the unknown financially. Yet, I am also feeling strong and vibrant because I love what I do, which helps to keep fear at bay. The worst kind of fear is the paralyzing kind, that makes you avoid doing what you long to do. The kind of fear that makes you see closed doors, no options, vicious circles and danger signs everywhere you look.

There are a couple of situations that I have known intimately, that force you to face your fears. Going through life transitions is one of them. Going through divorce, death of a loved one, leaving a job, starting a business or new job, beginning a new relationship, ending a relationship, children leaving home, health issues or moving. Suddenly, you are not floating along or treading water. You are facing a brand new situation. Change is always an opportunity for growth. You either feel energized and creative. Or, you feel flattened with fear, prone to self doubt. Or maybe you flit between the two.

The other situation is finding your unique self expression. You know when you have a vocation or a form of creative expression inside you that you are trying to ignore or suppress. Again, the risks are great. What if you mess it up, make mistakes? How will people respond to you? Will you make money, lose money or forget about the money? Is it easier to just forget about it? The answer is always no. You’ll never be able to effectively forget about it anyway. Also, a part of you starts to wither and die, just like a plant that has been placed too much in the shade.

The longer you ignore any situation that makes you uncomfortable, the worse it gets. This goes for a business that is stagnating from a lack of unique self expression, or a relationship that’s undernourished, deprived of love, passion and creativity. Fear acts like a snowstorm falling on a rose. It freezes beauty, inspiration and growth.

So you have to face the fears that hold you back, shine a light on them, expose them for what they are. Fear doesn’t like the light. It thrives in the dark. So find the light of truth inside you. Your inner wisdom is stronger than your fear, and will lead you where you need to go for your greatest happiness and fulfillment.