“I’ve always dreamed of having an exciting life,” a woman in her mid-thirties told me. Now she was concerned because she had given up on her dreams in order to play safe, while at the same time fearing that her life was running away from her. Are your fears making you give up on your dreams? I often come across people who feel like they have compromised on their dreams. Dreams change. The dreams you have in your early years can be transplanted by new dreams as you grow and evolve. Yet, the more you’ve been knocked around by life, struggled and tasted failure, the harder it can be to rise up and experience the fruits of your yearnings.
“There’s always something in my life that I’m unhappy about so I can’t create,” bemoaned a new client of mine. She had a job that she didn’t like and by the time she got home for the evening she felt drained and uninspired.
What keeps pulling you deep down in your heart? Something you know you are really meant to be doing, that gets you all fired up, yet, much to your frustration, you are still not doing it.
Maybe you blame your lack of action on your relationship, or lack of one. You think that you don’t have the time or the money. Or is it that you don’t feel that you’re good enough? You have difficulty trusting and believing in yourself. [Read more…] about Not Taking Action? Start Where You Are
“You don’t have to have an ideal life, which appears to be the pinnacle of perfection. You are also not a failure if you don’t yet have the life you really want. You just want to be creating the life you really want.”
If you are focusing on what you really want, it stands to reason that you don’t have it now. So why pin yourself to the wall with an imaginary knife, twisting it round saying, “How could you have landed up in a marriage where you still feel lonely?”, “How could you have taken so long to be doing work that’s deeply fulfilling?”, “How could you be once again starting over, trying to find your way?” or “How could you still not be doing what you really want to be doing?”
Here are 3 enriching practices to make peace with your current reality, while creating what you really want: [Read more…] about Making Peace with Now, Even When What You REALLY Want is Different
When fear is operating in you whether you realize it or not, it’s hard for your inner wisdom to communicate with you. That’s partly because the last place you look when you’re gripped with fear is to your inner wisdom.
Fear sabotages your dreams, your passion and your creativity. Procrastination, perfectionism, self-doubt, overwhelm and low self-worth are all forms of self-sabotage. You know those times when you go rigid inside or start hitting those hugely frustrating inner walls. There you are again, despite your best intentions.
I’ve met all these forms of self-sabotage intimately within my own self, especially in developing my business and with my creative projects. The greatest breakthrough I made was when I learned how to keep going deeper inside to connect with my inner wisdom for help.
We all have inner wisdom, the part of us that knows what to do, the steps to take to reach the destiny that’s deep down in our heart.
It actually is an enlightening and load-off-your-shoulders practice to turn to your inner wisdom for guidance throughout your day.
For example, if you find yourself facing a wall, your inner wisdom will show you the way through it.
When you face your own inner walls, the blocks you typically face that make you grit your teeth and growl, sending any chance of inner happiness hurtling to the other side of the planet, you’ll notice your mind wants to keep you spiraling to greater depths of hopelessness and despair.
It’s a great discipline to be able to say STOP!!!
Once you’ve achieved the stopping, you are all set for the relief you’ll get from some guidance from your inner wisdom.
The best place to look for your inner wisdom is in your heart. You can converse with your inner wisdom like you would a person.
All you have to do is listen for the whispers, trust and follow the guidance. But once you decide to trust you inner wisdom’s guidance, you have to take the leap!
Nicola Walker is an Inner Wisdom Coach and Self Expression Mentor. She works with creatively-minded people in big transitions to transform fears, low confidence and procrastination so they can go for their dreams. She coaches them to find their truth; to turn to their inner wisdom for help so they can live their passion and be happier in their lives.
Do you have days when your mind becomes dull with brain fog and a mysterious paralysis strangles your ability to take action? Fear has crept up, weaving its insidious tentacles around you like sticky cobwebs. Once you become fear’s prisoner, then fear will feed you stories, none of them true, about why you can’t have what you want.
How do I know this? Because I’ve been there. Fear can still lie in wait for me when I get out of bed in the morning. I have to be alert so it doesn’t trip me up and make me captive. Even when I’m really on a roll, in the flow, without a care in the world, I can still, all of a sudden, without any warning, get caught in fear’s trap.
It’s interesting to note that the more I devote time to doing what I love, the more prone I am to fear because I am taking risks, putting myself out there, unsure of how people will respond to me, facing the unknown financially. Yet, I am also feeling strong and vibrant because I love what I do, which helps to keep fear at bay. The worst kind of fear is the paralyzing kind, that makes you avoid doing what you long to do. The kind of fear that makes you see closed doors, no options, vicious circles and danger signs everywhere you look.
There are a couple of situations that I have known intimately, that force you to face your fears. Going through life transitions is one of them. Going through divorce, death of a loved one, leaving a job, starting a business or new job, beginning a new relationship, ending a relationship, children leaving home, health issues or moving. Suddenly, you are not floating along or treading water. You are facing a brand new situation. Change is always an opportunity for growth. You either feel energized and creative. Or, you feel flattened with fear, prone to self doubt. Or maybe you flit between the two.
The other situation is finding your unique self expression. You know when you have a vocation or a form of creative expression inside you that you are trying to ignore or suppress. Again, the risks are great. What if you mess it up, make mistakes? How will people respond to you? Will you make money, lose money or forget about the money? Is it easier to just forget about it? The answer is always no. You’ll never be able to effectively forget about it anyway. Also, a part of you starts to wither and die, just like a plant that has been placed too much in the shade.
The longer you ignore any situation that makes you uncomfortable, the worse it gets. This goes for a business that is stagnating from a lack of unique self expression, or a relationship that’s undernourished, deprived of love, passion and creativity. Fear acts like a snowstorm falling on a rose. It freezes beauty, inspiration and growth.
So you have to face the fears that hold you back, shine a light on them, expose them for what they are. Fear doesn’t like the light. It thrives in the dark. So find the light of truth inside you. Your inner wisdom is stronger than your fear, and will lead you where you need to go for your greatest happiness and fulfillment.