Nicola Walker Coaching

Transform Your Mindset: Reignite Joy, Live Your Dream

Nicola Walker

What Happened to Life’s Magic?

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Palm tree and aqua seaIt can be quite scary when you feel like the magic has disappeared. Life feels flat, like a corkless bottle of champagne the morning after the night before. Even the little things that used to give you pleasure don’t seem to strike the same chord anymore.

Just recently I was suffering with some health challenges, which I am pleased to say are all cleared up now, thanks to a wonderful acupuncturist I found. My energy was really low, and I had to give up some of my favorite pick-me-ups – cappuccinos, chocolate, wine and cakes and pastries with soft, gooey textures. Ouch!!!

I have always loved the good things in life. I can actually have peak experiences relaxing with a latte in one of favorite cafes. I’ll sit and write, basking in the warm glow of my own heart, gazing up into space every now and then with a smile on my face.

Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling the magic anymore.

Actually, I was also dealing with a few disappointments that triggered up some feelings that made me have to dig deeper to resolve. So maybe it was more than goodie deprivation. But, for a while I just could not find the magic!

How much are you experiencing life’s magic right now?

What makes you lose your sense of life’s magic?

These are good questions to ask yourself, because being receptive to a sense of magic in life is a wonderful barometer for how fully you are living your life.

Living your life fully is not just about world travel, high levels of success or having a great social life. These are outer experiences that can come or go, and do not necessarily give you a sense of magic.

Living your life fully is about being open to the magic of life in any one moment, wherever you are. This is a way of living that opens the door to inner happiness. Another key to living your life fully is to be doing what is meaningful to you, so your heart and sense of purpose feels fulfilled.

So how did I find the magic again?

There were three key things that I did. Look out for my next Tuesday blog post, where I’ll tell you about the first step I took that opened the door to feeling more of life’s magic.

Nicola Walker lilac top and jacket

Nicola Walker works with women who want a purposeful, passionate life to navigate the mess (the mind and their life’s circumstances and what’s happening in the world) so they can flourish and thrive! She has been an inner freedom coach and hypnotherapist for nearly 20 years and is the author of the upcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure of Self Discovery in the Quest for Success.

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What Happens When You Block Your Feelings

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Sometimes people have told me that they block their feelings and emotions. I can understand the temptation at times, when you don’t want to rock the boat. Emotions can be messy, with no respect for perfect timing. You don’t want to blubber during a meeting with a prospective client who says, “No,” and your mortgage is due. Or, shout at your boss when you need your job. Or even listen to those feelings that something doesn’t feel right about your relationship when you’re just about to fly off on vacation.

So it’s natural to want to push down inconvenient feelings and emotions back where they came from. At least you can control pretending things are fine.

This might work for a while. But it’s a little like pushing down a ball in water. The greater the force you use to push it down, the greater the splash when it finally surfaces. And if the ball is there, it will emerge at some point.

Have you ever had a bunch of roses that didn’t all bloom? Sometimes you get one bud that just holds its petals tight, hiding its beauty from your eyes.

Feelings and emotions make you bloom and grow. They lead you into a vulnerable place where the light can shine through. You face the unknown, but it’s real. It’s exciting actually. If you like watching adventures on TV or the movies, you might enjoy your own. “Oh my God, what’s going to happen next?!”

I do believe that living your full bloom takes a lot of courage, but that’s what life is about. I’ve been totally committed to mine, even though this has meant facing fears on a more regular basis than some people might. Courage is a muscle you develop, just like learning to listen, trust and follow your inner guidance is a muscle. Discipline, persistence and choosing to find your way back to inner happiness are all muscles too.

One of the ways your inner wisdom speaks to you is through your feelings and sensations. If you block your feelings then you block your inner wisdom, which is like your life force. Your inner wisdom helps you to elevate your life beyond the mundane. It leads you to discover more about yourself, your heart and life itself by stepping through pain, facing the unknown and discovering the light.

I Just Want To Be Moody

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Does incessant bad weather affect your mood? Does the sight of heavy grey skies and the sound of splattering rain day after day make you tighten up inside and think negative thoughts? I definitely felt that way one day last week, during a series of storms that swept across Santa Cruz and the surrounding Bay Area. Enough was enough. I grimaced as I looked out the window. I growled with the dogs. I was ticked off by too much rain.

Even though I teach people how to breathe through inner tension and negativity to connect with the jewel-like guidance of their inner wisdom, I really didn’t feel like doing that. So I have to admit, there are some days when you just have to declare, “I just want to be moody.”

You know when you stumble on one of those kind of days. It’s time to curl up with a snarl on your face. Put up a sign saying, “It’s best to stay away from me today,” if that’s the case, and just stay alone feeling authentically miserable.

If all goes well, the next day you should bounce out of bed feeling marvelous. Your inner wisdom will be eager to communicate with you and you’ll feel full of passionate purpose.

If this doesn’t happen and you continue to feel moody, then maybe there’s something else bugging you. Time to turn to your inner guidance to find the answers that you need.

How Do You Know If You’re Living Your Purpose?

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Your purpose is in your heart, so your heart tells you if you’re living your purpose. If you feel passionate and inspired about something, then you’re sensing a connection with your purpose.

Your purpose is what motivates you. It’s the reason why you feel drawn to one job, career or entrepreneurial path and not to all the others that you could choose. It’s the reason why you are drawn to certain books or articles, seminars or people.

Do you spend a large part of your life feeling passionate, inspired and motivated? If you do, then you are living your purpose. You must be doing something right because you feel a big “yes” in your heart. This is your heart wisdom speaking to you.

Of course you might feel on fire with your purpose, yet feel confused about how to live it or get it out there in the world. If that’s the case, you probably need to tweak your understanding of your purpose, to become more specific. Or look at some of your beliefs and question your thinking.

Your inner wisdom knows where you’re going off course. Sometimes the reasons are right in front of you. You just don’t see them because they are so familiar.

A lot of people feel half on, half off with their purpose.

Is that you?

I used to be that way. Until I learned how to go deeper, to turn to the wisdom of my inner guidance for support with the simple practice I created called Inner Listening Skills™.

If you’re dragging your feet, following shoulds and not feeling like you’ve found your place in life, you haven’t fully found your purpose yet. Or you’re avoiding it.

Maybe you’re going through a tough situation that may lead you closer to knowing and living your purpose.

You’ll know if you listen.

Everything is meaningful.

It all depends on how you frame it.

Sometimes it takes just a small shift to truly be living your purpose. So you really are waking up each day feeling passionate, inspired and motivated.

How To Be With Emotions

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Emotions are to be embraced. Why? Your emotions offer you invitations to live more deeply and fully. Emotions can arise because it’s time to let go of something – a limiting belief, a habit or pattern, a situation, a perception or attitude. If you get lost in the emotion, then you don’t receive its message, until the next time you get another opportunity. You become stronger and more authentic when you face your emotions with wisdom and awareness. Maybe the emotion has a message for you. Find out what it is.

It’s easy to resist emotions as they are uncomfortable and often arise just when you don’t want them to — the start of a weekend when you want to relax and have a good time, while you’re at work or with someone you want to impress. The more you try to resist the emotion, the more embedded it becomes. It’s the law of attraction in reverse – when you focus on something you don’t want, the more it happens.

So if resisting emotions keeps you in an emotional hotbed, the easiest escape is to embrace the emotion. Look the tiger in the face. Be 100% present with yourself while you feel what you feel. Presence is actually very enjoyable, because you let go of the tension of resistance and judgment. There’s nowhere else for you to be except in the present moment, being with what is. Presence is about being with an emotion with awareness as opposed to losing yourself in the emotion.

Here are five steps to being with any uncomfortable emotion:

1. Breathe deeply and fully.

2. Become aware of the sensations of the emotion in your body – such as tightness in the stomach, aching in your heart or your ribs, tension in the throat.

3. Become aware of any sensation that is not part of the emotion – focus on both your body and the energetic field all around you. You may start to notice a peaceful sensation or part of your energy that’s not caught up in the emotion.

4. Become aware of your thoughts. Breathe as you listen. Make room for your wisdom. Notice what thoughts start to lose their grip on you. What thoughts appear like imposters, with messages that aren’t really true?

5. Be willing to let go of any thought that doesn’t really serve you. Ask your inner wisdom to guide and help you. Listen to your inner guidance and follow what it tells you.

Emotions are an integral part of life, so it’s wonderful to know how to be with them, so you can receive and grow through their gifts. Knowing how to be with emotions is a huge key to inner happiness and creating positive changes in your life.

Let me know how helpful this information is to you by entering your comment in the comment box.