Self love is the antidote to self judgment. When we let our critical mind run wild, it will likely pick us to pieces and leave our dreams strewn in tatters.
Why? Because self judgment is a toxin. It poisons your thoughts, muddies your instincts and clouds your vision. Your vehicle is like a spluttering engine that might take you down the road, but will never make it to your chosen destination.
It’s much easier to create and attract something you deeply desire whether it is a job or business you love, ideal clients, a quality relationship or an upturn in health and prosperity when your thoughts are aligned with love and appreciation.
You create your reality by transforming your thoughts.
It is an act of self love to gently guide your mind away from painful, negative thoughts to recognize what is well and good in your life.
By choosing self love versus self judgment, you begin to steer yourself towards moments of inexplicable joy.
We can be vulnerable to low self esteem and self judgment when things don’t work out. I succumbed to thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and sadness during a period when I was struggling with a sluggish business and poignantly aware of what was not happening in my life. I was stagnant creatively and even felt shame about where I was financially.
When a former client first came to me, her confidence and belief in her singing talent was at an all time low, and so were her spirits as her marriage was teetering close to divorce and her teenage kids were soon to leave the nest. One of the first things we focused on was her relationship with herself. As she began to spend quality time with herself, focusing on appreciation and doing what she loved, she attuned to her intuitive wisdom and her relationship improved.
She courageously proved to herself that the beliefs she held about her talent and potential for success were unfounded. A year later, I watched she and her husband perform together at a concert to launch their new CD.
Most of us have a weakness for self judgment. For some, the voice of the inner critic runs deep, stemming from a childhood with no healthy role models for self love and appreciation.
Self love is about being kind and gentle with yourself. We can all do this. It takes dedication and commitment to pattern interrupt the entrenched neural pathways your inner critic treads, but it’s the only choice if you want happiness and fulfillment.
You can create a new reality that is tender, wise and forgiving.
- Catch yourself when you pull yourself down in any way. You’ll know when it happens because your energy changes and you feel deflated, separate from everyone else and understandably depressed.
- Gift yourself with pauses for presence. When you let yourself drop out of your head, into your body and your heart and breathe, you meet your true self, who is always and only ever has been whole and innately worthy of living what you most deeply desire.
- Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for anything that still troubles your heart. Life is a learning curve, an evolutionary spiral. Recognize what you learned and can take with you — let go of the rest.
It takes dedication and commitment, but once you shift your energy and feel a welcome surge of positivity and aliveness, you’ll see how life responds with tiny miracles, openings and opportunities.
Nicola Walker is an Anything is Possible mindset coach, with over 25 years of combined life coaching and hypnotherapy experience. She guides people at a turning point in life, to navigate and fulfill their dreams and deepest desires.
Nicola is the author of the forthcoming book, Joy in the Middle of the Mess: An Evolutionary Adventure on the Quest for Success. One of her greatest joys is to walk and hike in the hills and along the beautiful California beaches, near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area..
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