Nicola Walker Coaching

Transform Your Mindset: Reignite Joy, Live Your Dream

happiness

What Happens When You Block Your Feelings

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Sometimes people have told me that they block their feelings and emotions. I can understand the temptation at times, when you don’t want to rock the boat. Emotions can be messy, with no respect for perfect timing. You don’t want to blubber during a meeting with a prospective client who says, “No,” and your mortgage is due. Or, shout at your boss when you need your job. Or even listen to those feelings that something doesn’t feel right about your relationship when you’re just about to fly off on vacation.

So it’s natural to want to push down inconvenient feelings and emotions back where they came from. At least you can control pretending things are fine.

This might work for a while. But it’s a little like pushing down a ball in water. The greater the force you use to push it down, the greater the splash when it finally surfaces. And if the ball is there, it will emerge at some point.

Have you ever had a bunch of roses that didn’t all bloom? Sometimes you get one bud that just holds its petals tight, hiding its beauty from your eyes.

Feelings and emotions make you bloom and grow. They lead you into a vulnerable place where the light can shine through. You face the unknown, but it’s real. It’s exciting actually. If you like watching adventures on TV or the movies, you might enjoy your own. “Oh my God, what’s going to happen next?!”

I do believe that living your full bloom takes a lot of courage, but that’s what life is about. I’ve been totally committed to mine, even though this has meant facing fears on a more regular basis than some people might. Courage is a muscle you develop, just like learning to listen, trust and follow your inner guidance is a muscle. Discipline, persistence and choosing to find your way back to inner happiness are all muscles too.

One of the ways your inner wisdom speaks to you is through your feelings and sensations. If you block your feelings then you block your inner wisdom, which is like your life force. Your inner wisdom helps you to elevate your life beyond the mundane. It leads you to discover more about yourself, your heart and life itself by stepping through pain, facing the unknown and discovering the light.

How To Be With Emotions

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Emotions are to be embraced. Why? Your emotions offer you invitations to live more deeply and fully. Emotions can arise because it’s time to let go of something – a limiting belief, a habit or pattern, a situation, a perception or attitude. If you get lost in the emotion, then you don’t receive its message, until the next time you get another opportunity. You become stronger and more authentic when you face your emotions with wisdom and awareness. Maybe the emotion has a message for you. Find out what it is.

It’s easy to resist emotions as they are uncomfortable and often arise just when you don’t want them to — the start of a weekend when you want to relax and have a good time, while you’re at work or with someone you want to impress. The more you try to resist the emotion, the more embedded it becomes. It’s the law of attraction in reverse – when you focus on something you don’t want, the more it happens.

So if resisting emotions keeps you in an emotional hotbed, the easiest escape is to embrace the emotion. Look the tiger in the face. Be 100% present with yourself while you feel what you feel. Presence is actually very enjoyable, because you let go of the tension of resistance and judgment. There’s nowhere else for you to be except in the present moment, being with what is. Presence is about being with an emotion with awareness as opposed to losing yourself in the emotion.

Here are five steps to being with any uncomfortable emotion:

1. Breathe deeply and fully.

2. Become aware of the sensations of the emotion in your body – such as tightness in the stomach, aching in your heart or your ribs, tension in the throat.

3. Become aware of any sensation that is not part of the emotion – focus on both your body and the energetic field all around you. You may start to notice a peaceful sensation or part of your energy that’s not caught up in the emotion.

4. Become aware of your thoughts. Breathe as you listen. Make room for your wisdom. Notice what thoughts start to lose their grip on you. What thoughts appear like imposters, with messages that aren’t really true?

5. Be willing to let go of any thought that doesn’t really serve you. Ask your inner wisdom to guide and help you. Listen to your inner guidance and follow what it tells you.

Emotions are an integral part of life, so it’s wonderful to know how to be with them, so you can receive and grow through their gifts. Knowing how to be with emotions is a huge key to inner happiness and creating positive changes in your life.

Let me know how helpful this information is to you by entering your comment in the comment box.

Follow Your Heart

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When a new year begins, it’s as though your slate has been wiped clean and you can begin again. Ask yourself, “what is deepest in my heart to create and experience?” Keep this question with you as you go about your day, especially when you go for walks, exercise or relax. The answer will float into your consciousness.

Ideas about what you want in life can change. That’s why it’s important to listen to what is true, to find out if it is still true for you. Remember that life can be perceived in many different ways. Keep going deeper to find the truth. You’ll know when you find your deepest truth, because you’ll resonate with it. Maybe you feel a rush of energy, a quickening or a deep sense of inner knowing.

It’s always most effective to act on what feels most alive for you. When you listen deeply in this way, you are flowing with your inner wisdom that is guiding you to your highest good. Maybe you hear that it is time to address an issue that has been bothering you with another person. Or it is time to stay at home and spend more time alone. Or now is the moment to look into that niggly feeling that you could be doing more with your life.

If you ever feel dull, irritable or dissatisfied, ask yourself, “what is true for me?” “Am I following my truth?” You’ll find your truth in your heart. Summon up the courage to follow your heart and you’ll feel full of life again. This is the path of inner happiness.