Nicola Walker Coaching

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limiting beliefs

Increasing Confidence: Lead From Your True Self, Not Your Small Self

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frothy ocean shore increasing confidenceYou are strolling along a beach close to where the waves roll into a frothy finish. Your bare feet sink into the wet sand with each footstep that you take. You feel one with the vast expanse of sky, sand and sea. Your heart is vibrant with joy, your mind is at peace. With increasing confidence, you know that there is something bigger for you to do. You see or sense a fuller version of you.

Yet, in the cold light of day, after breakfast when you sit at your computer and attempt to do your work, the clarity fades. Doubts set in. Indecision mounts. Taking action resembles a beginning golfer taking multiple swipes before he or she hits the ball just a few feet with a clod of turf. Your small self has taken over yet again.

The problem is that many of us aren’t adept at catching our small self when it slips into the driver’s seat of our life, especially in our business or career. The more you want something, especially something that demands that you take risks, be vulnerable and put yourself on the line financially, the more likely it is that your small self will sneak in to save you from oblivion.

Would you like to experience more of your clear, confident and courageous true self? Who wouldn’t?!

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Rediscovering Magic in Life: Part 3 – Speak to Your Challenge

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Center of pink flowerMagic is always present, all around you and in you, yet your attention needs to be alert to the magic so you can perceive it. When your mind is focused on your life challenges and worries, mundane concerns or emotions that you’re feeling, then the magic is, for the moment, lost. Of course, it’s just part of being human. We have lots to think about! But you also don’t want to get stuck in the swamp of whatever you’re grappling with so much that the magic is lost and each day is like a startlingly similar replay.

A most effective way to get momentum on moving through and addressing challenges in life is to speak to your challenge. Both the struggle with the challenge and the answer that frees you live inside of you. It takes focus and commitment to your desire for whatever lies beyond the challenge in your life.

Here are five steps you can take to move through your challenge:

  1. State what it is you want. For example, I want to have a successful business, or I want to know that I’m making the right choice about xxx, or I want to be in a romantic relationship with someone who’s a perfect match for me, or I want to know the right step to take in this situation. Feel the want inside you and make sure it’s strong. That it’s coming from a place of decision rather than a  state of endless wanting.
  2. Feel the struggle inside of you. Maybe you feel frustrated or sad, hopeless or overwhelmed. Notice where you feel this in your body. Often you feel emotions somewhere in your torso, such as your stomach, your heart, your solar plexus or your throat. Or maybe you feel a lot of energy in your head.
  3. Speak to the part of your body where you feel the emotion. Ask it to tell you more about what it’s feeling. What is it frustrated about or sad about? You might know already, but it’s good to hear its language.
  4. As you listen, you may well hear some limiting beliefs. You can recognize limiting beliefs because they just don’t sound right. They’re not really true. They sound weak, like an old tape that keeps playing, but isn’t serving you anymore.
  5. Write down the limiting beliefs. Then question each one by asking, “Is this really true?” Listen in your heart for the answer. You’ll know. Then write down what is really true. Listen and deep down you’ll sense if what you have written is true. Maybe you’ll get a rush of warmth, a sense of knowing, an image or an inner voice that tells you that you’re on the right track.

These five steps give you an example of what is possible within a very short amount of time. There are many ways to speak to your challenges. The key is to shift from life challenge to illumination. Your inner wisdom is always there to support you and guide you in your life. Once you feel reconnected to the peace and wisdom in your heart, the magic is yours to perceive.

I hope you enjoyed this three-part blog post on how to rediscover magic in life, when it seems to be elusive or just not there at all.

 

How To Be With Emotions

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Emotions are to be embraced. Why? Your emotions offer you invitations to live more deeply and fully. Emotions can arise because it’s time to let go of something – a limiting belief, a habit or pattern, a situation, a perception or attitude. If you get lost in the emotion, then you don’t receive its message, until the next time you get another opportunity. You become stronger and more authentic when you face your emotions with wisdom and awareness. Maybe the emotion has a message for you. Find out what it is.

It’s easy to resist emotions as they are uncomfortable and often arise just when you don’t want them to — the start of a weekend when you want to relax and have a good time, while you’re at work or with someone you want to impress. The more you try to resist the emotion, the more embedded it becomes. It’s the law of attraction in reverse – when you focus on something you don’t want, the more it happens.

So if resisting emotions keeps you in an emotional hotbed, the easiest escape is to embrace the emotion. Look the tiger in the face. Be 100% present with yourself while you feel what you feel. Presence is actually very enjoyable, because you let go of the tension of resistance and judgment. There’s nowhere else for you to be except in the present moment, being with what is. Presence is about being with an emotion with awareness as opposed to losing yourself in the emotion.

Here are five steps to being with any uncomfortable emotion:

1. Breathe deeply and fully.

2. Become aware of the sensations of the emotion in your body – such as tightness in the stomach, aching in your heart or your ribs, tension in the throat.

3. Become aware of any sensation that is not part of the emotion – focus on both your body and the energetic field all around you. You may start to notice a peaceful sensation or part of your energy that’s not caught up in the emotion.

4. Become aware of your thoughts. Breathe as you listen. Make room for your wisdom. Notice what thoughts start to lose their grip on you. What thoughts appear like imposters, with messages that aren’t really true?

5. Be willing to let go of any thought that doesn’t really serve you. Ask your inner wisdom to guide and help you. Listen to your inner guidance and follow what it tells you.

Emotions are an integral part of life, so it’s wonderful to know how to be with them, so you can receive and grow through their gifts. Knowing how to be with emotions is a huge key to inner happiness and creating positive changes in your life.

Let me know how helpful this information is to you by entering your comment in the comment box.