Have you ever found yourself wanting something so much that you lose your center? If you’ve waited a long while for something you really want, you may have a lot of emotional charge around the thing you most desire, whether it’s money, love, a particular job, a career break, the opportunity to travel. As soon as you catch yourself caught in some in between world that is not the present or the future, it’s time to loosen your grip.
Why? Because when you want something so much that it becomes agonizing or upsetting, you could be pushing what you most want away from you. This is what is meant by needing to let go of attachment. Also, if you’re not fully present, lost in your thoughts of what may or may not happen, then you’re not fully present to your inner wisdom that can effectively guide you to fulfillment.
You’ll know when you want your desired outcome too much, if you notice that your body is tense, that your mind is racing through all the years that what you want has eluded you, how difficult it’s been, maybe fears about what if it never happens? Your attention is more on how your desire has not happened or may not happen, than how it is going to happen. So how can your desires happen through so much tension, fear, mental stories and projections? I know for myself that all the best things have happened when I’ve been relaxed, not even thinking about how much I want something.
This is the ideal way to hold what you most desire. Check to see if this is true for you:
The desire is in your heart. It feels good. You believe it can be yours.
Then you let go, knowing it will show up in good time.
If you find that you still feel very attached to what you want showing up, so that it’s hard to just let go and trust that your desire is on its way, then examine your fears more closely. Your fears are like a wall between where you are now, and having what you want. Fears are illusions, but they seem real when you are emotionally invested in them, when they have carved well-worn pathways in your brain.
Write down each fear so you look it fully in the face. Then see which fears you can fully get rid of.
A lot of fears do dissolve when you shine a light on them — the light of wisdom and awareness.
I feel I’m pushing men I meet away, on first meeting they “like what they see”..but I get anxious, if they don’t stay in constant touch, and am constantly e mailing them, and they don’t ways reply..”working”being the main excuse. I believe I’m pushing them away because I want the company too much.1 don’t know how to change.
Hi Marge, Thanks for your comment. You’re right. This is an example of wanting something too much. It’s hard because it is the way you are wired probably due to experiences of a parent not being there when you needed them as a child. All the same, you can heal these subconscious motivations that get in the way of your happiness as an adult. It could be a good idea to work with a therapist for a while if you are open to it. You want to reach a place of autonomy where you are happy whether you have a partner or not. This is a much more powerful and attractive way to be in relationship. You are then much more likely to attract someone who is more available too. Good luck! Nicola